">HomeOwnerNut

You know that guy that your “friend” dated who seemed so perfect, then she found out it was all a façade and he didn’t actually mean a word he’d ever said? Yeah, that guy. Or that girl whose face looked like it had been spackled and sanded? Well, those fakes you probably don’t really want in your life, but these you might—they’re interesting twists on everyday objects created by faking the originals with other materials and purposes.

Hard and Soft

Groupo Bondi’s Concrete Pouf recently featured on MocoLoco looks just like a soft upholstered ottoman down to the fabric pattern, buttons, and folds of fabric. Of course, it’s really concrete, so you won’t be sliding it over in front of sofa for a movie, unless you’ve been hitting the gym a bit too much.

Trap Doors

Another clever fake, this trompe l’oeil rug highlighted by Dezeen from the launch of Maison Martin Margiela’s interiors line moves doors to the floor. This rug doesn’t just look like something else—it also plays with space by moving a vertical element onto a horizontal surface, and turns something that functions into something purely decorative.

Hardwood Floors

If a French atelier’s rug isn’t so much in your budget, Urban Outfitters has also jumped on the fake trend this year with some floor and wall décor that are a little more accessible to the average homeowner with their trompe l’oeil floor mats. Available in several photorealistic versions of wood, as well as bamboo and stone, the mats transpose another floor material onto your own.

Peeling Walls

An alternative to wallpaper and decals, wall murals can be hideous (think bad mall paintings on a massive scale—actually, please don’t), but they can also be fantastic fakes blown up big. Modern Murals, one of the purveyors of realistic murals, offers murals of not just simple clear images, but also of hard-to-identify textures like wood and peeling paint, which can totally change up your boring drywall.

I know I’m in for some flack, but I just detest lawn gnomes. Maybe my Russian blood has some aversion to Nordic charm. My father’s side of the family–from Transylvania (no joke)–would rather see a head on a stake in the garden. But I know people love these oddball lawn accessories for reasons that remain oh-so-elusive. Perhaps you’ll weigh in.

I found some justification in Rochelle Frank’s Using Garden Gnomes for Self-Defense, wherein she writes, “… instead of using pepper spray or other deterrents. If you see a threatening character you can yell out, Stay back! — Don’t try anything, I have a garden gnome!” People are into gnomes. You can visit Better Gnomes and Garden, or Just Say Gnome!, a business that is “dedicated to making politically fun and spiritually inspiring Garden Gnomes.”

Let’s look at my favorites:

Example 1.  Roswellian Gnome

They’re among us.  I know they’re studying us and one day they’ll make their move!

Example 2. Hog Wild

This gypsy biker roars across the American landscape—well, someone’s landscape—with the throaty growl of a ceramic ornament. I have at least two friends who will buy this one within the week.

Example 3.  Slasher Gnome

I take back EVERYTHING I said in the first paragraph. I love gnomes. I must have some of these!

Example 4. Moon Doggie

Declared a top seller! How could you not buy one? Teenagers will love to drive their cars on your lawn.

Example 5. Gnome Harvester

Don’t let pesky gnomes invade your lawn! Gnomes take the bait and dissipate! (Not recommended for families with small children.)

Example 5. Gnome Chomsky

The perfect gift for the linguist, anarchist, libertarian, anti-war activist, and philosopher with a green thumb.

Example 6. The Human Gee-gnome

Stored on 23 pairs of chromosomes, you already have 3 billion of them in your DNA. Save your money and buy a riding mower.