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Now that the scariness of Icelandic volcanoes, ash clouds, and planes that could have fallen from the sky is over, let’s honor the natural disaster that thankfully turned out not to be much of a disaster, before it’s all a distant memory.  After all, if ash clouds aren’t blanketing the news (or airspace) anymore, we might have to wait for “When Volcanoes Attack” to get our next volcano fix.

Room With a View

Since natural disasters are apparently spectator sports, why just watch on TV when you can watch in person from the Volcano House hotel? Re-opening in 2011 after seismic and fire safety improvements (although I don’t know which fire improvements could possibly deal with a volcano eruption), the hotel is located on the rim of the Kilauea caldera in Hawai’i Volcanoes National Park.  The park contains two of the world’s most active volcanoes, so be sure to get a crater-view room, where you can watch and wait for some activity, or you just can explore the park, forest, and Mauna Loa Mountain. Your choice. They’re both safe bets.

Living on the Edge

Visiting the edge of a crater not close enough for you?  You could purchase this three-bedroom home on 60 acres in the desert somewhere between Los Angeles and Las Vegas that caps a small volcanic cone. With a dome-topped concrete and truss beam form, the home seems to complete the top of the volcano from the exterior, and from the interior, you have wrap-around views of the desert.  Run the garden hose down the cone and I’ll bet you could simulate some nice lava.

Let It Blow

And, speaking of garden hoses, if you want to bring a little active volcanic glory home, you could always go for the Mt. Tiki Soki Water Volcano.  And while this sprinkler may not spew hot lava, that’s probably a good thing—after all that might melt the plastic.

I would have killed for this thing when I was a kid, but then again, I was also the girl who embedded her Monopoly set’s houses, hotels, and little dog in her plaster elementary school volcano project, so I may have an unhealthy fascination with volcanoes.

An entire blog post could be written about the heartbreaking side of baths. King Agamemnon of Mycenae was killed in the tub by his unfaithful wife, Clytemnestra. French radical journalist Jean-Paul Marat was slain in the bath by Royalist Charlotte Corday in 1793. In the Godfather II, mafioso Frank Pentangeli opens his veins in a bathtub to save his family from vendetta. Nasty stuff. Here’s the famous French bath scene with Marat, done by artist Jacques-Louis David.

Now, for the good stuff. Let’s look at some unusual tubs on the market–if you have oodles of cash lying about…

Exhibit 1. Bling Bucket

The Teuco Swarovski bathtub is decked to the nines with crystals. Each tub is made to order. You should also check out the Swarovski’s jeweled sink collection.

Exhibit 2. Old Ironsides

Soak away your troubles (and your savings account) in this New Orleans style wrought-iron tub that lists between $5,970.00 and $8,020.00 from Thomas Creations. It’s a little pricey for me.

Exhibit 3. Chill Canoe

With 180 nozzles bubbling away and six programmed massage zones, this automatic bathtub is named La Dulcé for a reason. It’s a sweet one. Although it looks like a pool toy, I’d take it for a test soak.

Exhibit 4. Morning After Monster

Brain-melting. No way you get me anywhere near this Gingko tub by Linge Evolution. What could be worse? Seeing the tub in lavender.

Exhibit 4. Cannibal Couture

Looks straightforward to me: you climb into the Tub-T while the natives bang on drums and dance themselves into a fury. The Tub-T has glass, LED illuminated steps up to the stainless steel tank. The tub has a bench seat with its own heater.

Exhibit 5. Wild Thing

Aquamass’ “Just Animals” zebra striped tub lets you get jiggy with your wild side. If that’s your thing. Actually, I’m a shower guy.