When I lived in Sacramento, my apartment was on the third floor and I could smell the cigarette smoke wafting up from the residents below. My pal Mark hooked me up with an air hustler. An air hustler sells high-end purifiers and calls you day and night until you agree to buy one. Then he tries to sell you an upgrade model.
But the purifier did the job nicely, and it was worth trading the cigarette nuisance for the hustler nuisance. If your home smells, you may not know it. We all get used to our environment. Last year I lived on a horse ranch and after a fashion, the brown plops on my property began to smell like nature.
You can spend your inheritance on air cleaners, or just a few dollars. Today I use a machine that produces negative ions, said to boost your sense of well-being. I love a sense of well-being, don’t you?
The Grill Meister Cure
The peeps at Apartment Therapy suggest setting out barbecue briquettes to remove unpleasant smells from a musty apartment. They absorb moisture, too. But don’t buy the quick-light ones or mesquite charcoal or your house will smell like a rib joint in Kansas City.
Send in the Troops
Catch colds easily? Try this Lennox germicidal lamp, said by the manufacturer to overwhelm nasty bacteria and mold spores, cutting biocontaminants by half in as little as 45 minutes.
The Liberace Treatment
A favorite among dormitory herbivores and millions of home-makers, the scented candle can quickly confuse visitors’ olfactory cells into convincing the brain that they’re on a wind-swept trail in the Himalayas. I once found a candle in a designer shop that smelled like freshly baked bread.
Did you know that negative ions increase the flow of oxygen to the brain? So says WebMD ion authority Pierce J. Howard, PhD. If you sit long in front of a positive ion generator (TV or computer monitor), you may want to play for a draw by putting a negative ion generator in the room. Oxygen, good!
The Old Favorite
Kills germs, repels blood-sucking vermin, and makes for an outstanding shrimp stir-fry.