When I was a kid, our neighbors’ old, ramshackle house went up in flames one night, and all the neighbors came and watched it burn down together in the dark. After the debris was cleared away, they replaced it with a shiny, new mint green trailer home flanked by a series of well-manicured bright white truck-tire planters full of pink flowers, in the middle of an empty lot. The fire didn’t bother me, but the tire planters did.
Since I left my small hometown, I haven’t seen many truck tire planters, but I’ve discovered that every area has it’s own kind of questionable lawn and garden accessories. Here in the San Francisco Bay Area, we may not have tires in our yards, but our love of DIY art is just as much of an eyesore. Even so, knowing that all these things come from someone’s love of making things gives me a little soft spot for them. Though not enough to ever want them myself.
Play It Loud
I see a surprising number of skeletons welded to things here—surprising given that teenage boys who are really into death metal can’t be that large a percentage of the Bay Area home- and car-owning population. But this guy brings a special joy to his home. He may only have steel bones left, but he’s still got love for music and America.
Every local lumberyard seems to not only offer lumber, but also what I can only assume is some sort of garden décor in the form of large carved animals. Rhino? Giraffe? Alligator? Guy holding a kid in a big yellow hat? That’s the one. I’ve always wanted one of those for my yard.
I’m totally convinced that the bathtub planter is the urban equivalent of the truck tire planter. And this one is like the Cadillac of bathtub planters, with a snazzy paint job on a classic claw foot tub. Located at a home salvage center (AKA junkyard) with acres of used bathtubs for sale, you can pick up all the materials you need for one right there. Though you probably shouldn’t.