">HomeOwnerNut

You know the tale: your (pick one or more: spouse, brother, sister, neighbor) will handle that small home repair detail and save you plenty. Contractors from Hell has an inspiring testimonial from homeowners that came home from New Year’s Eve revelry to find their living room the scene of a Biblical flood.

Taking my cue from Kit, I sent out my bad-taste trawler across the digisphere and netted these prime examples of Darwinism at play in the fields of home improvement.

Exhibit 1.  Forced Air

I admire the clever use of a cardboard box to complete this retrofit an AC unit. It reminds me of summers in Alabama where humidity rules and temperatures rarely drop below 106 at night.  The apartment manager sealed our AC unit with a blob of foam insulation, creating a welt the size of a semi-truck inner tube.

Exhibit 2. Singing in the Rain

The brilliant mind that created this work-around probably wears one of those umbrella sun-hats during the summer. And we know he/she orders drinks adorned with stunning red bumbershoots and lots of grenadine.

Exhibit 3. Iron John

It bears repeating: you can take the man out of the country, but you can’t take the country out of the man. Yet, the telltale power cords leading into the back door suggest this is a temporary bogs created during a bath renovation. One can hope. Possibly the same mind was behind Kit’s garden hose shower.

Exhibit 4. Go to Your Room

Pretty suspicious, don’t you think? I’ve been condemned to the couch before, but banished by rope to the balcony of shame would pretty much send me off to the dating sites.

Exhibit 5.  Some Like It Hot

Once I climbed into a tub at a men’s bathhouse outside Tokyo and I could feel my upper layers of skin separate from my body and do the funky chicken with the steaming water.  Interesting, barely related note: President Lyndon Johnson, no stranger to hot water, installed a shower head with pressure so powerful it knocked successor Richard Nixon to his knees.

Exhibit 6.  Going Wireless

Wiring, what wiring? Remember the kids game where you put your hand over your eyes and no one can see you?

Exhibit 7. Double Entendre

I had to put a winner in this group. I love this idea and so would the green people from the planet Eco.  The neighborhood cats adore it, but you have to wonder about 911 calls to extract kids with the jaws of life.