">HomeOwnerNut

This is not about taking off your shoes, putting your laptop in a plastic bin, and walking through a radiation device. This is about Home Security.  Up here in the foothills, most of my friends own firearms. Now that’s home security. I’m moving soon to a rural community where no one locks their front door and they leave their car keys on the driver’s side floor mat.

Still, home invasion is nasty, and I’d advise everyone reading this to take whatever measures necessary to feel secure in the burg where they live.  There’s a distinction between common sense and paranoia. Let us observe the difference:

Common Sense

If you live in London, say, a Prikka strip may make for common sense. Europeans have a fine tradition of embedding shards of broken glass atop brick walls to prevent intruders.  According to Solon Security in the U.K., these sharp strips can be nailed or screwed into your outside walls. They come in a range of colors. However, laws in England require you to post a warning sign for would-be burglars that you have installed the barrier.

My Friend Flicker

Why leave a television blaring in your home while away when you can fire up this efficient TV impersonator that uses only 2 percent of the power? Of course, it’s available for purchase at Hammacher and Schlemmer.

Fake It Til You Make It

Why fake the television when you can fake a snarling dog? For $99, the Electronic Watch Dog plays the gentle, in-house sound of the rainforest when a guest approaches, but to an intruder, it sounds an alarm and the threatening growl of a watchdog.  Plus: there are no shots required or a nasty visit to the vet to shorten the wires.

Paranoia

If you must have the real thing, go all the way! Follow the lead of Anna Studer of Tell City, Indiana, and invite Shahzarah, queen of queens, home for a side of beef.  Now that’s peace of mind!

Accidental execution by electrical shock is NOT one of the leading causes of death in the home.  Falls are the single, largest cause. But I did see that 3,000 lives a year are taken by home fires, and that brings me back to faulty electrical wiring as a hidden culprit in home disasters.

Okay, a third of home-fire deaths are caused by smokers, according to the U.S. Fire Administration. But if you had home wiring setups like some of these people, you’d smoke, too.

You Get Meatballs With That?

This look might be fashionable for people who love Reggae, but when it comes to home safety, clean and uncomplicated is the key. And put a cap on it! You certainly don’t want anything that looks like this:

or……

Rotate Until Done

The clever homeowner who installed this additional lighting fixture is, one could say, in touch with his inner pyro.  It’s important in this scheme to leave an open socket for “finger-testing” the connection.

Visionaries Are Born, Not Made

From our friends at There I Fixed It comes this example of how to green up a sustainable disaster at home. Today’s efficient Compact Fluorescent Light bulbs produce about 75 percent less heat than conventional bulbs, according to EnergyStar. That means you can overload your fixtures with confidence!

Faulty Brain Wiring

Every so often, appliance manufacturers recall a potentially dangerous clothes dryer. But in this case, the homeowner is responsible for the recall of this family to their maker.  If you’re wired this way, make a point of cleaning your dryer vents and lint traps regularly.

News Alert: Village Idiot Escapes!

True mindfulness is difficult to attain, even after several lifetimes.  One can’t tell the ultimate destination of the power cord that’s resting comfortably on the baseboard heater. With any luck–in a Darwinian sense–it’s wired into a hair dryer or heating blanket.