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It’s too bad that so many well-intentioned people insist on painting their homes during their fourth week into a bender. Not that I mind a little drinking. But friends don’t let friends paint drunk. When you see the mad twinkle of artistic inspiration flood your buddy’s eyes like the dark glint off of a bottle of Jagermeister, it’s your job to hide the keys to the garage and put their rollers and spray guns into the trunk of your car until they graduate from a 28-day treatment center. To wit:
Exhibit A: Da Nang Shower Masterpiece
Obviously the ceiling fan in what looks like a tidy little shower facility near the Mekong Delta (circa 1968) doesn’t quite do justice to the camo theme. The idea, I guess, is you lay on your back on the floor and watch the fan, and repeat aloud, “I’m still in Saigon.”
Exhibit B: It’s the D-Tease
When you settle on an external home painting scheme with dots, you can never claim–ala Robert Downey, Jr.–that you came home late and accidentally went into the look-alike neighbor’s dream pad and crashed in the wrong bed.
Exhibit C: Go Gators (Pass the Dramamine)
Not a chance you went on over to Color Combos and checked for simultaneous contrast before trying this colorblind home painting scheme. Blue for me; orange for my homies!
Exhibit D: Fen-sooee
The in-laws complained when you threw up in their bed, so why not put them up in Lollipop Land when they return the visit? I’d eschew the concept of a bed entirely and just put a couple of burlap sacks on the floor, tatami style. Trendy!
5 Responses to “Home Painting Horror: Color Palates for Unrepentant Drunks”
That purple and pink polka dot house is adorable. It looks like it belongs in the Heidelberg project in Detroit.
http://www.heidelberg.org/
Have you ever seen people’s homes with theme rooms(for adults). Like the Green Bay Packers Room, or the Elvis Room…I have a friend with a room loaded wall to wall with empty liquor bottles. He sees the artistic irony of it, too me it is just scary.
Don’t know how some of these people don’t get seizures walking into their own rooms. I guess to each is own…but seriously that orange and blue house…you’ve got to be a special person to like that. I am sure that pink dotted purple house is loved by the woman who lives there, and that is one weak man who wouldn’t stand up for himself if it came to that.
[...] have already posted about my love of indiscriminately rude paint jobs, if you want to get that easy, queasy, sleazy [...]
[...] has to be the boy’s bedroom from the Go-Gators house I blogged about [...]