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There are three quick ways to discover whether your home has a termite infestation. First, you find tiny sets of discarded wings flapping around the floor near corners of the wall. Second, you discover tell-tale muddy tracks crossing an outer wall and entering a conduit. And, three, spring rolls around and tens of thousands of winged little “swarmers” come pouring out of your walls in search of true love.

It’s Them!

When I was a kid, Them! was my favorite film. I hated it when James Whitmore was sliced in half. To terrify my brother I created horror stories of White Ants that munched on human bone.  In real life, the truth of insect supremacy can be harder to swallow. Did you know—the honest truth—that a single termite queen living in a mound colony in Africa lays 50,000 eggs a day?

Formosan Termite

This cellulose addict will gnaw through 100 pounds of wood a year and it doesn’t care whose wood it eats.  The termite chews wood into tiny bits, then passes it through several stomachs (just like a cow does) and the enzymes break down what used to be your subfloor.  Then you get this:

Disaster in Progress

The most common termite found in the States, according to Kill The Termites, is the subterranean termite.   It climbs up trees, drops on your roof, and the mess hall is open. Each queen lives with up to a million roommates in the earth under your home while workers climb up day and night to harvest munchies.

By Invitation Only

It’s not their fault. According to The International Association of Certified Home Inspectors, termites invaded your wood supply because it was already decayed and prime real estate for building moist, jolly nests. Plumbing leaks, foundation cracks, sloped finish grades—all contribute to building optimal conditions for subterraneans. And that’s just for subterranean termites. In the South and Southwest of the country, drywood termites do just fine without moisture. No need to RSVP.

If your house hasn’t been inspected in a few decades, you might want to look into it….