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There’s only one thing worse than ugly window treatments: hideous curtains that reek of dust and mildew. What can you say about the unaccountable poor taste homeowners have exhibited from time in memorial in their drapery? I was visiting a friend in New Jersey once and every time I sat on the couch, my sinuses would flood and I’d start to sneeze uncontrollably.

If it’s true that pictures are a suitable substitute for thousands of words about ugly curtains, read on!

Just for Browsing

The valance on this rather hideous window treatment, say the writers at the Carter Family blog, creates a most-unsavory, unbroken appearance reminiscent of an Austin Powers villainess. Hence:

Lily’s Pad

While we’re discussing window treatments straight out of Hollywood, the Ugly House Photos web site dishes up a set of curtains it claims comes directly from Lily and Herman Munsters’ haunted mansion.

Cheese Grits

Bloggers at The Stamford Wife have termed this acrimonious collision between curtains and wallpaper “The Kuntry look”.

Funeral Home Depot

My apologies to lovers of the Victorian era. But this parlor window treatment gives me the willies. I’m sure it’s the right choice for lining your final resting vessel. But it’s just a wee too stuffy for the living.

The Bates’ Motif

Not sure if this example comes from a private home or motel bathroom. Perhaps it’s just me, but if I’m standing up to my neck in steam behind this curtain,  I’m fairly certain that someone one’s skulking in the doorway with a glinting meat cleaver. Even a clear, plastic liner would be an improvement over this Rubic’s-cube -of-death motif.

At Freshome, the writers say that tying in the curtain style with your room theme is probably the best advice.  I’d say it’s the second-best advice, behind having a sense of style to begin with!