George Bernard Shaw wrote that youth is wasted on the young. The older I get, the more I believe it. I would be half the cranky mature citizen I am today if I had one of those cool kids beds on the market. When I was young, my brother Ted and I shared a bunk bed. Today, I favor a huge futon on a wood frame. But oh, these new beds for kids. My joints may calcify and my vision may blur, but nothing’s old about my imagination.
Making nights bearable
Who’s that sleeping in my bed? Me, of course. Bedroom furniture for kids is all about whimsy, while beds for grownups are all about back support. The last vestiges of playfulness and imagination for grown-up boys are reserved for game rooms.
The royal treatment
Your little girl may be initially enthralled by this Cinderella Carriage Bed furniture from Suite Life Kids. But she may grow out of it by the time you pay off the $4,795 they want for it. There are full-size and bunk bed options, too, according the retailer. As for my life with my brother in our bunk bed, we fought royally.
Blue-collar model, black-tie price
If your boy’s room is beginning to look like a dump, try one of these truck models, a steal at $1,999 from Kid’s Unique Beds. The company also makes beds in frames resembling fire trucks, classic railroad cars and more.
Hold the mayo
From the world of high-cholesterol furniture comes this burger bed, suitable for kids and grown-ups alike. (I’ll resist the temptation to say something about buns.)