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Woodrow’s been busy staking his claim as our resident critic of stunningly atrocious lighting, but the other day, I spotted few lamps in a display window that require me to venture into his territory and offer up a similar public lashing.
Because while there’s all sorts of tacky out there, there’s also tactless. Lighting should never allow someone to giggle, roll their eyes, or, yes, write a blog post that involves anything that seem remotely like making fun of things people hold dear and should remain sacred. Which is why Jesus lamps are always a bad idea—totally tasteless, tacky, and tactless. Also, Mary, angels, and pretty much any other religious icon. Heck, I’ll throw Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny in there, too, just to protect the innocent.
Touched By An Angel
This is the light I spotted that started it all: a touch-controlled lamp featuring an angel protecting an innocent girl. Given that light-filled halo, I’m not sure you should have to use a bulb with this one. Though my favorite part has to be the “Touch Me!” tag on it—how often do you get to touch an angel instead of the other way around?
Oh, Mother
The fact that the light in this porcelain lamp of Mary holding baby Jesus from eCrater is located solely in her calves makes me wonder if there’s something about the light of God that I never understood properly before.
Under the Sea
Given the sea shells and coral, this lamp being offered for sale on Etsy seems to have confused the Little Mermaid with the Bible, unless Hans Christian Andersen’s works have suddenly been elevated.
Batteries Not Included
“Luminous” and “hauntingly beautiful”? Not exactly the words I’d use to describe anything made out of acrylic that requires AA batteries like this light from Temptation Gardens—those materials that seem better suited to remote controls and kids’ toys than religious icons. While you’d think they’d give Jesus a little more respect than the game of Operation, I’m starting to wonder if it’s actually a sign that that porcelain Mary might almost be classy.
One Response to “Let There Be Light: Tacky and Tactless Religious Lamps”
How is it that people who are so religious can be so attracted to hideous religious artifacts. I’m no bible scholar, but I have to believe that there is some thing in the good book which says don’t worship any trashy idols!