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It’s my impression that more cash-strapped people are settling on paying high energy bills and inflicting health hazards on their families than in coughing up some cash for energy efficient windows. Most of us have probably heard about the NFRC—no not the Narcoleptic Ferret Recovery Center– the National Fenestration Rating Council. This NFRC establishes ratings that help even the worst tightwads understand beneficial U-Factors, Solar Heat Gain Coefficients, Air Leakage, and–thank Noah—Condensation Resistance.
Figure it out: when the in-suck of draft from your single-paned windows blows out the pilot lights, you’re headed for disaster. Single-pane windows with deconstructed caulking and weatherstripping are worthless unless they’re installed in your bup’s little tree-house.
Here are some gross offenders from homeowners that apparently covet mildew:
Exhibit 1. Winter Waterworld.
Ain’t it romantic? The dewy pearls of nature’s dawn slide like ninja mildew warriors into this wallowing swine-flu Petri dish. It would be sweet if the condensation came from a cup of herbal tea, but this stuff is peppering in from the great outdoors.
Exhibit 2. Scum Park Place.
A complementary window to the Spirulina Splashdown pool I featured recently, this breeder reactor of child-onset asthma, at first appears to be a lover’s lookout until you realize the dark shrubbery is spreading in vigorous aerobic respiration on the inside of the window. Pass the Advair.
Exhibit 3. Rastapheromone
Cedar or plywood. In two shakes of a lamb’s tail it dulls the panorama, but ultimately may lower U-Factor loading. Plus side: nobody can view your living room crop circles.
Exhibit 4. The Johnny Cash
Single-paned, cold and drafty. Ugly to behold, but includes a stunning latticework treatment upon which can be stored pruno bags, shivs, trained-mice colonies, and microbes.
Exhibit 5. Modified Panoramic
Found in Southern California’s Panorama City, this classic window treatment shuns complicated door tracking, insulation gas traps, and delivers increased levels of what the Department of Energy calls Visible Transmittance. Pluses: Easy ingress. Accentuates regional folk-art. And complements a décor that is at once inclusive and contemporary.
2 Responses to “Meditations on Fenestration”
What about the saran wrap window coverings you see on some houses in the winter…do these actually work?
Is the modified panoramic a failed attempt to stop suicide jumpers from going out the window? It looks like you would just injure yourself enough to stay alive, and be pissed off that you were still alive with broken bones.