">HomeOwnerNut

The flight from Sacramento to Seattle took just over an hour and a half and I had completed the New York Times crossword (in ink) in about 12 minutes, so I fished through the seat pocket for a magazine. I usually knock the airline magazine out in 20 minutes, so I snagged the Skymall catalog.  You know, the catalog with a dazzling array of golf-club covers and sub-sonic ear lint cleaners. I could easily do a weekly blog on the home furnishings and man tools you’d never buy. By the time the plane touched down in the Northwest, I had already noted the following items to share with you personally. Because I care.

Shower of Power

Back in the day, the slogan was save water, shower with a friend. But in the new millennium, you don’t need chemicals that mess with your neural transmitters to enjoy a cosmic, colorful experience in the shower stall. The Magic Showerhead changes color from blue to red to green every five seconds. That means if you’re eco-conscious, you can time your showers to save water. $49.99.

Zappa Kitty

Back in the day when we showered with a friend and did funny cigarettes, we’d drive kitty crazy by fanning a flashlight beam across the carpet and up the wall. Today, chemical-free adults can deploy a pre-set program that sends the little fur muffin a-scampering into furniture legs with The Lucky Litter FroliCat Bolt Automatic Laser Toy. $19.95.

Zap Yourself

The Sonic Boom will get you out of the sack after a long night watching your kitten chase a laser beam into a bubbling stewpot. The Boom clock generates wake-up tones at 113 decibels. (Doctors say that 85 decibels are at the edge of safety and sanity). Good morning! $34.95.

Zap the Cops

Skymall offers a  Phantom Alert subscription that sends warnings to your smart phone or GPS whenever there are speed cameras, school zones, speed traps, railroad crossings, and red light cameras nearby as identified in its 400,000+ item database. I’m sure you wish you had a subscription when you (fill in the blank) ___?  $29.99 a year.