These photos got me to thinking about homeowner’s insurance and coverage for nature’s angry outbursts. Thanks to Pamela Stevens of TopTen Reviews, I have the skinny for you.

Ugly outcome when the earth roars

Photo by USGS

In 1971, a magnitude 6.7 quake threw me out of bed, across the room, and dropped a bookcase on me. We were luckier than many in the San Fernando Valley. Stevens writes that if you have private homeowner’s insurance, you can add earthquake endorsements. If you live in California, the California Earthquake Authority offers coverage.

Twister assister

Photo by Richmond Times-Dispatch

Even if you live where this is a common sight, you can buy tornado coverage as part of your homeowner’s policy. Make sure you get repair coverage for hail, which typically shows up at the same time to hammer dings into even the best vinyl siding.

Surf’s up

Photo by Freak Waves

Don’t assume your homeowner’s insurance will cover damage from flooding. Stevens says you must secure a policy purchased through the National Flood Insurance Program.

Crispy creamed

Photo by Premier Choice Restoration

You can get fire damage endorsements throughout the country – unless you live in a high-risk area or a long way from the nearest fire station. Stevens says insurance companies can refuse you coverage. To find out if you live in a high-risk zone, check with The National Interagency Fire Center.

DOH!

Photo by Indy Media

Sad to say, most insurers will not offer coverage for radiation damage if you live near a nuclear power plant. Perhaps you should consider using lead when evaluating replacement windows.

Now, many lighthouses have fallen into disrepair and the lights staffed throughout American history by the Coast Guard are crumbling into the sea. In 2000, Congress enacted the National Historic Lighthouse Preservation Act, putting some 200 American lighthouses up for adoption.

Lighthouse conversions are still a romantic notion, but the need to repair or retrofit many of the unique buildings in disuse has limited the transfer so far to only 76 of the lights. Most are made into residential conversions.

Lighthouse conversion, make offer

Photo-by-Daily-Caller

The Frankfort North Breakwater Lighthouse is a great buy for those who love doing laundry naturally and for its winding staircase. It comes with a great vista of Lake Michigan. You may want to order a new set of storm windows.

Amazing house exteriors on Lake Superior

Photo by Michigan Light House

Built in 1896, the Big Bay Light Point, a seven-bedroom complex on 33 acres in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula, was turned into a bed and breakfast in the 1980s. It originally cost $25,000 to construct the light and compound. While not part of the Coast Guard surplus, it is for private sale now with a $999k asking price. Pretty sweet spot, isn’t it?

Light housekeeping required

Photo by NJ Star Ledger

For those who prefer the Jersey Shore, the Romer Shoal Light Station is located just north of Sandy Hook. Be warned: it needs some work. The tower is said to be rusting and the windows are broken. You should fit the place with thermal windows before you move in. Under  the Coast Guard terms, the lighthouse is “made available at no cost to eligible entities defined as Federal agencies, state and local agencies, non-profit corporations, educational agencies, or community development organizations for educational, park, recreational, cultural or historic preservation purposes.“ Read more about it at Lighthouse Friends.

And honey, I’ll leave a light on for you.

Beat seasonal flue

Photo by West County Fires

This Flueless Landscape Novo fireplace by England’s West Country Fires mounts on the wall, requires no chimney (provided your room has natural ventilation), and runs on natural or LPG gas. Frames come in Chrome, Graphite or in  Brilliant White.

Fireplaces as furniture

Photo by Gizmodo

The ARKIANE ICOI is a French mounted-fireplace, with a design modeled after an Inca queen who, legend says, left the Earth in the form of a blazing butterfly.The ICOI is also sold as a recessed model with only the façade and steel frame visible to the eye. A heat recovery unit and ash pan are in the wall interior. If your French is decent, check it out at ARKIANE.

Fireless pit

Photo by Misty Mountains

If you’re more the vinyl siding type than a darling of the uber-French bourgeois school, if you love leather and own a Harley, may I recommend this heat-less, maintenance-free wall treatment by Misty Mountains? Imagine a dreamy, prosaic night at the tattoo studio with just your sweetie, the latest edition of Ink Junky Magazine, a six-pack of Rainier Ale, and the two of you nested like Chinese soup spoons in front of this nougat of art.

The fireplace for windows

Photo by ImperiaSoft

Finally: the no-muss, no-fuss way to build a roaring fire. It’s the 3D Realistic Fireplace Screen Saver programmed by Geliosoft, makers of the 100 Happy Money Screensaver that animates bills and Euros raining down from the heavens. Mount a wireless monitor and you’re set. The fireplace screen saver comes with the sound of crackling wood, three different flame colors, burning logs, smoke and sparkles — and it’s password protected. (No way you want your teenagers to boot up this baby on prom night!)

Now the CPSC wants you to look at the model numbers of several winter heating appliances to make sure you’re not (out of ignorance or stubbornness) using a recalled product. Consider yourself duly warned.

Life is short

Photo by CPSC

Speaking of short, that’s what has happened to some of the 13,000 Touch Point Oscillating Ceramic Heaters imported by Meijer Inc. After two home fires were reported and 6,700 recalls, retailers apparently kept selling them. Now that’s tenacity. Consumer tip: if your room fills with smoke, open up or break out a window. I know there’s a related window replacement cost, but I guarantee it will  be less expensive than rebuilding your house.

HVAC villainy

Photo by CPSC

Do you need help in understanding the finer points of home ventilation? Put simply, when your Zoneline Air Conditioner and Heater caches flame and belches fumes, open a door or window and unplug the appliance. GE and Sharp have recalled 90,600 units after manufacturers discovered an electrical component in the units may fail.

Lasko buy a new one

Photo by CPSC

The CPSC reminds consumers to stop using The Lasko Model 5540 and Air King Model 8540 portable heaters. More than 107,000 have been recalled in response to fire hazards. Consumers reported that electrical connections in the bases melt. Contact the manufacturer for a refund.

Since we apparently need  reminders from the CPSC, here are a few facts about continuing to use recalled products:

• You do so under our own peril
• You’re refusing refunds or replacements for recalled items
• While there may be good excuses for burning down your home, fire inspectors may frown upon consumer negligence.

You’re lucky if you live in a residential conclave where there are homeowners’ association decorating caveats. Not everyone does, however. If you find yourself stuck next to a neighbor who believes that painting their home like a bilious gallbladder is a tasteful thing, you may be really stuck. In this market moving is not so easy.

Hello Kitty, goodbye sanity

Photo by House Logic

In 1960, Shintaro Tsuji created the now-legendary Hello, Kitty line of plastic purses. Today, there are 22,000 products lines in this motif. Let us hope that this is the only such home. I’m not recommending arson, but I’d certainly understand the impulse,

Purple rain, ugly residential pain

Photo by Country Joy Crafts

Several manufacturers make plum colored vinyl siding colors, but you’ve got to get out the buckets and  brushes to create something like this. It reminds me of the artificial color used in grape Popsicles. As I recall, the hue stayed on your tongue for the entire summer.

The sum-of-all-fears motif

Photo by Handiman Club

This theme combines all the elements of a metal roof patina, distressed shutter effects and contrasting flesh-tone paint. Unfortunately, they should never have been combined. Witness the tragic characteristics of a do-it-yourself exterior painting effort done while under the influence.

A bad idea executed to perfection

Photo by Recentering El Pueblo

I love the cottage and pueblo look you find in Arizona and California. I do not like the look that says, “Help, we’re trapped inside by creatures that eat brain cells.”  An appropriate façade for Solano Prison is not necessary an apt exterior for residential Santa Ana. If you can find a door bell, for heaven’s sake don’t ring it!

The earliest remnants of backed chairs were found in the tombs of Tutankhamun, wooden seats made with expert craftsmanship. It took until the American 1940s before Barcalounger began making the first recliners suitable for vegging in front of the television.

We’ve come a long way from Pharaoh seating. The old King would simply tut-tut these modern examples of furniture.

Designs that make a splash

Photo by Yanko Design

Designer Michael L. Wendel has found a way for anyone to perform a cannonball right in their own living room. The Splash Lounge Chair is molded from pink insulation foam and then slathered with four coats of Elmer’s glue. Spray on chopped fiberglass and finish with a coat of Bondo…and presto!

The handiest chair you can buy

Photo by Design Home Online

Many of the newest Ukranian designs are user-friendly, witness the warm greeting you get from this chair created by Oleksandr Shestakovych. Check out his portfolio at Behance.

The Russian crossover

Photo by Design Milk

Designers in Russia are also dashing out curiously playful furniture. This cross-legged chair by Vladimir Tsesler is actually a tripod. You’d have to try it out to see if it’s comfortable. I can imagine a fur coat draped across the back (faux mink, of course).

In the clover

Photo by Design Milk

This White Clover Chair by Driade was designed by Ron Arad. The seats, made of polypropylene mono-block, can be used inside the house or outdoors, where you can match them in a selection of hues to match your house siding colors. View more examples of Arad’s designs at Unica Home.

You may now be seated!

What is it about Victorian architecture, anyway? Well-kept or restored Vicks are a delight. There’s one overlooking the sea where I live that always takes my breath away. And it’s green, too, with well-matched energy efficient replacement windows and a new copper roof.  Nonetheless, an unkempt old house is enough to scare the pants off of me to this day.

How to terrify, Pt. 1

Photo by Austin Home Restorations

According to the folks at Austin Home Restorations, a scary house has to be old and large, have neglected house exteriors and a spooky background story.

Salem architecture

Photo by The Mirror Up to Nature

Not all spooky homes are Victorians. I’ve never been to Massachusetts, but I can see that some parts of Salem are haunted to this day. The exteriors of this place recall the Amityville home where those gruesome murders took place. Come on, people! Painting an old house isn’t all that difficult.

Bewitchingly apt

Photo by Andrew's Blog

This New Jersey home in Freehold was used for the exteriors in the production of Sabrina the Teenage Witch. Add a dark night with clouds streaming across the face of the moon, mix with a dash of moaning hounds, and finish it off with a wind-blown creaking gate. Brrr!

Green center of horror

Photo by The Green ABC's Blog

Indiana’s April Brewster Smythe posted this blog photo to promote the Green Center Haunted School House. Just a few miles from Churubusco, Green Center is located at the intersection of CR 300S and CR 300E in Noble County, just in case you want to walk by some creepy evening.

Is this ugly, or is it me?

Photo by Ugly House Photos

My favorite blog of the disagreeable and dreadful, Ugly House Photos, hosts this monstrosity. Are these truly window accessories, re-purposed shower curtains, or torture aids used by the intelligence service?

Bed, bath, and the great beyond

Photo by Ugly House Photos

I hope I never get to see these window treatments in the flesh. Window replacement costs being what they are, why would you cover your light on the world with coffin liners?

This decorating goes to eleven

Photo by Work Room Intelligence

Certainly rich and ebullient, this monumental valence is a tad busy. I think my sweetheart of the rodeo wore this to Woodstock.

Valence with a vengeance

Photo by You Paid More Than Me

If you’re into the dingle-ball era of home exteriors, this valence may be the right choice to grace your period sitting room. Taken as a whole, I can’t take it at all: there are no curtains or drapes to complete the look. On one hand, it appears that the vampire bat has made it through the window. With its brevity, it lends the overall affect that you’ve been pantsed.

Liberty Valance

Photo by Weird Wild Realm

If your window treatments are terrorizing your home, you need to take them out and shoot them.

Las Vegas prices have dropped 15 percent from Oct. 2010 to Sept. 2011 and Forbes predicts another five percent tumble this coming year. The other warm weather cities are Fresno, Calif.; Phoenix and Tucson, Ariz. Don’t let the idea of desert living put you off. Look at these tasty designs.

For the unique desert nomad

Photo by Zillow

Three box shapes stand above the desert floor on concrete footings at this Dessert Nomad House in Tuscon. The price has dropped $100,000 since February.

Desert house exteriors that sizzle

Photo by TrenDir

The glowing cube of this Chen + Suchart Studio house in Tempe features energy efficient industrial glass that keeps you cool inside. All you need to do is maintain your central air conditioning.

Wings and things

Photo by Home Design Home

In Scottsdale, The Desert Wing House uses Arizona copper and rammed-earth walls made from local soils to keep you cool. The 8,000 square-foot home overlooks a golf course. Brent Kendle, architect, wanted to create a see-through home that still provided an element of privacy. See more photos of the place at Kendle Design.

Find yourself in Fresno

Photo by In Phoenix

Fresno, in Central California, saw home prices sag by 11 percent this past year and Forbes predicts a free fall of nearly 10 percent more in 2012. California desert homes borrow from Spanish Colonial architecture, a style that keeps residents cool in hot summer weather. Buy yourself stylish awning windows for mild spring days and Indian summers.

Want to buy? Go West!

They say that the thicker your vinyl siding product, the greater its ability to withstand the forces of nature. But unless you have a Kevlar shroud around your house exteriors, there are times when the environment wins.

Dear sir, that’s an ugly wound you have

Photo by Airpark Collision Center

If hail stones can make the rear window of a Beemer look like it’s been through the country roads outside Feyzābād, imagine what it does to thin siding. The hail dented the hood and trunk of Margusity’s car, but have a gander what it did to the exteriors:

The environment strikes back

Photo by AccuWeather

Driven by wind, the hailstones that slammed into Margusity’s siding also ripped off half a shutter on the house and peppered an entry door at the home across the street. Read more about it at AccuWeather.

Meteorological madness

Photo by KNIA Radio

A month before the storm stippled Pine Grove Mills, a similar hail storm raced at 60 miles per hour through central Iowa, turning this vinyl siding effort into unpalatable Swiss cheese. The wind was strong enough to whistle through the open door residential garage and blow down two walls. You come home to damage like this, pour yourself a tall adult beverage. While you’re awaiting a call back from the insurance company, you can always read Margusity’s blog.

Putting a new face on home exteriors

Photo by Denver Siding Solutions

Your vinyl siding may be insured against these projectiles, but read the terms carefully. Often the provisions are for just the damaged face of siding to be replaced. After a few years, your siding color will have faded. Now you’re looking at un-matched colors around your house. The answer? Paint your siding with high-grade acrylic latex paint to match the new panels.