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When it comes to creating a one-of-a-kind home, some people have little regard for the emotional well-being of their neighbors. A quick 911 call after hours will handle a neighbor with a blistering stereo system. But what number can you call when your neighbor has a brutally loud paint job?

You’re lucky if you live in a residential conclave where there are homeowners’ association decorating caveats. Not everyone does, however. If you find yourself stuck next to a neighbor who believes that painting their home like a bilious gallbladder is a tasteful thing, you may be really stuck. In this market moving is not so easy.

Hello Kitty, goodbye sanity

Photo by House Logic

In 1960, Shintaro Tsuji created the now-legendary Hello, Kitty line of plastic purses. Today, there are 22,000 products lines in this motif. Let us hope that this is the only such home. I’m not recommending arson, but I’d certainly understand the impulse,

Purple rain, ugly residential pain

Photo by Country Joy Crafts

Several manufacturers make plum colored vinyl siding colors, but you’ve got to get out the buckets and  brushes to create something like this. It reminds me of the artificial color used in grape Popsicles. As I recall, the hue stayed on your tongue for the entire summer.

The sum-of-all-fears motif

Photo by Handiman Club

This theme combines all the elements of a metal roof patina, distressed shutter effects and contrasting flesh-tone paint. Unfortunately, they should never have been combined. Witness the tragic characteristics of a do-it-yourself exterior painting effort done while under the influence.

A bad idea executed to perfection

Photo by Recentering El Pueblo

I love the cottage and pueblo look you find in Arizona and California. I do not like the look that says, “Help, we’re trapped inside by creatures that eat brain cells.”  An appropriate façade for Solano Prison is not necessary an apt exterior for residential Santa Ana. If you can find a door bell, for heaven’s sake don’t ring it!

You remember the place: the house that you never walked past when you were a child. For me, it was the Victorian by the creek with peeling paint tucked behind an overgrown trellis and oak trees with limbs like an old man’s bones. Old newspapers were piled on the porch. Ivy snaked through the wrought-iron fence and scraggly cats fought over rodents on the patchy lawn.

What is it about Victorian architecture, anyway? Well-kept or restored Vicks are a delight. There’s one overlooking the sea where I live that always takes my breath away. And it’s green, too, with well-matched energy efficient replacement windows and a new copper roof.  Nonetheless, an unkempt old house is enough to scare the pants off of me to this day.

How to terrify, Pt. 1

Photo by Austin Home Restorations

According to the folks at Austin Home Restorations, a scary house has to be old and large, have neglected house exteriors and a spooky background story.

Salem architecture

Photo by The Mirror Up to Nature

Not all spooky homes are Victorians. I’ve never been to Massachusetts, but I can see that some parts of Salem are haunted to this day. The exteriors of this place recall the Amityville home where those gruesome murders took place. Come on, people! Painting an old house isn’t all that difficult.

Bewitchingly apt

Photo by Andrew's Blog

This New Jersey home in Freehold was used for the exteriors in the production of Sabrina the Teenage Witch. Add a dark night with clouds streaming across the face of the moon, mix with a dash of moaning hounds, and finish it off with a wind-blown creaking gate. Brrr!

Green center of horror

Photo by The Green ABC's Blog

Indiana’s April Brewster Smythe posted this blog photo to promote the Green Center Haunted School House. Just a few miles from Churubusco, Green Center is located at the intersection of CR 300S and CR 300E in Noble County, just in case you want to walk by some creepy evening.