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While my dog was in a meditative state over the weekend…
I set to thinking about how many stories I’ve seen recently on horse acupuncture, cat yoga, and about an Australian radio station that broadcasts soothing music and master’s voice recordings to your dog, alone at home. My dog would be playing Darkness on the Edge of Town on his I-Woof, head in his dish, eating the animal formally known as horse.
Seeing Kit’s pet beds proved the final spark, so I set to research. For you, readers, here are some tasteful pet-amenities from the Web:
Example 1. Dr. No Can Wait
From the plated hardware to the feline monogram in brushed chrome, this litter cabinet will add panache to your James Bond bathroom. Shaken, not stirred!
Example 2. No Texting During the Movie
This waterproof GPS/cell phone for pooch enables two-way, remote communication between you and Reginald. When Reggie escapes the yard, the GPS immediately lets you know his whereabouts so you can call him and say soothing things like, “Next time, it’s the pound for you!” People will be seen walking the streets, talking into dogs, helping owners track them down.
Example 3. The Pet Patio Potty
I couldn’t help thinking of all those pastoral summer afternoons I spent watching sitcoms with tidy houses on groomed lawns, framed by fences and neat sidewalks. Out back by the swimming pool, you’d have a smoking barbecue or hibachi, a bubbling fountain — and a Pet Patio Potty. Why not? The unit comes complete with layers of faux lawn, dry or absorbent materials, and polyethylene bottoms. Stacked trays—like so many nested Chinese steaming boxes—process your doggy dumplings while you entertain Daddy’s boss, Mr. Thompson.
Example 4. If the Birdie Hut’s Rockin’, Don’t Bother Knockin’
When I’m on the road, I make sure that no one messes with my Honduran parrot Sparky. The Snuggle Hut looks like a teenager’s tote bag, but I’m okay with that. You mess with my Snuggle Hut, you’re messin’ with me. You can hitch a Snuggle Hut most anywhere and Sparky’s camping! (Please use good sense where you hang it!) For my pals in the San Bernardino Valley, do not mount Snuggle Hut on a rear-view mirror of the Harley or near your Fat-Cat Borzilla Pipes. ‘Nuff said!
Example 5. Dog Park Love Magnet
The stroller weighs 17 lbs. and it can carry a 30-pound dog. That means you’re hauling the freight around the doggie park. But there’s a convenient tray for your mocha, keys, and a PDA. Me, I’d put a sound system in the back that’s I-pod enabled. The stroller is made of tough nylon and is water resistant. So I’d have the harness modified so Reginald can blast out with a single snap at the command, “Get ‘em!”
Example 6. Home Gym and Rehab
Think of it as a lifestyle change, not a diet. No more slices of carrot cake at the poker game, no scraps tossed from the dinner table, and certainly no more beer with Uncle Louie! You can do it!
(Treadmill training tips are available at Small Dogs Paradise.)
5 Responses to “Pet-amenities: Indispensible Accoutrements for Attached Non-Humans in Your Home”
The lap dog syndrome has gotten out of control. I now see little dogs in purses on the plane and on the laps of many drivers…what happened to a regular sized dog sitting in a dog house in the front yard?
I love the doggy tread mill. People don’t realize what a pain it is to walk your dog in the city…this solves the problem!
I will slap whoever owns a doggy treadmill. We are toying with nature way too much with these small lap dogs, we’ve genetically made these dogs possible. I want one of these little things to survive outside and try to catch something that isn’t a pair of immobile socks for 3 days and see if it can survive.
[...] love one of these. To know me is to love kitsch. I’d put it right beside the doggie treadmill I wrote about earlier this [...]
To me it can actually be both a blessing and a curse, and here’s why:
GOOD
- it gets the dogs exercise which keeps them healthy. I am not suggesting it be a substitute for a “normal walk”, but it is good if either the weather is dreadful out(or roadsalt down which hurts the paws!) and it’s not safe to go out in. It is also even recommended by professional dog trainers for extra-energenic dogs that need alot more exercise to burn off all the energy… my friend being one of them with her super-hyper dog…ya could walk the critter ten times around the city and the mutt still wouldn’t be tired one bit.
BAD
people might think this is a good way of getting out of going on a walk with the dog- ‘if the dog wants exercise he can do it, it doesn’t have to tire me out too!’ type mentality. plus outside exploration is one of the main things that make a dog happy- all the smells and sights. i mean you would be sad too if you couldn’t go outside the house all the time too!