">HomeOwnerNut

One more time, because someone needs to, I am reviewing some of the most hideous lamps ever to have disgraced homes and hovels around our fair country. I can’t forget to repeat the essential old saw that there’s no accounting for taste. And I’ll add that there’s no accounting for bad taste more than ever.

When selecting furnishings for your new home, renovated home, man cave, or teenage love swamp, remember that you have to live there. And if you haven’t abandoned all hope of having visitors other than stray rodents, insects, and uninvited reptiles, the basic notion of employing simple designs and inviting colors still applies.

The Woofinator

This almost looks like a Pixar cartoon from the day. Except it’s way more twisted than anything an inventive animator would create. I’m disturbed to see where the power cord’s attached.

Blood Sport

I loved the inventiveness of this set of lamps, until I visited the A Tribe Called Next blog where writer Stefan reveled in the matching set of blood-seeping pillows you put under your head to create the sensation of natural or unnatural hemorrhages. Thrill your friends!

Mount Olive

At first blush, I thought this cheery lamp was a caricature of good old Mr. Peanut, then I saw it was an olive, chugging a martini while holding a cigar. A perfect night light for the kids’ room.

Miss Torso

Speaking of the right choice for decorating a nursery, here’s Miss Torso. I stole the line from Hitchcock’s Rear Window, but it seems a apt moniker for this disgusting fixture. The lamp, say bloggers at Find Great Stuff’s Ugly Lamp Contest, is four feet tall. Wonder if its tassels glow when it wants to “call home”.

Thank you very much!