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An entire blog post could be written about the heartbreaking side of baths. King Agamemnon of Mycenae was killed in the tub by his unfaithful wife, Clytemnestra. French radical journalist Jean-Paul Marat was slain in the bath by Royalist Charlotte Corday in 1793. In the Godfather II, mafioso Frank Pentangeli opens his veins in a bathtub to save his family from vendetta. Nasty stuff. Here’s the famous French bath scene with Marat, done by artist Jacques-Louis David.

Now, for the good stuff. Let’s look at some unusual tubs on the market–if you have oodles of cash lying about…

Exhibit 1. Bling Bucket

The Teuco Swarovski bathtub is decked to the nines with crystals. Each tub is made to order. You should also check out the Swarovski’s jeweled sink collection.

Exhibit 2. Old Ironsides

Soak away your troubles (and your savings account) in this New Orleans style wrought-iron tub that lists between $5,970.00 and $8,020.00 from Thomas Creations. It’s a little pricey for me.

Exhibit 3. Chill Canoe

With 180 nozzles bubbling away and six programmed massage zones, this automatic bathtub is named La Dulcé for a reason. It’s a sweet one. Although it looks like a pool toy, I’d take it for a test soak.

Exhibit 4. Morning After Monster

Brain-melting. No way you get me anywhere near this Gingko tub by Linge Evolution. What could be worse? Seeing the tub in lavender.

Exhibit 4. Cannibal Couture

Looks straightforward to me: you climb into the Tub-T while the natives bang on drums and dance themselves into a fury. The Tub-T has glass, LED illuminated steps up to the stainless steel tank. The tub has a bench seat with its own heater.

Exhibit 5. Wild Thing

Aquamass’ “Just Animals” zebra striped tub lets you get jiggy with your wild side. If that’s your thing. Actually, I’m a shower guy.