Ugliness Squared: Furniture that Reeks
- May 28th, 2010 (by Woodrow)
- In: Design, Dislike, Living Rooms, The Ugly
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When I get to thinking my futon bed and white leather couch are looking a little beyond showroom condition, I look at what other people consider acceptable and I feel an instant rush of gratitude.
Remember back in college days when it was perfectly acceptable to grab a tattered couch from students who left it behind in your apartment when they moved? Did you use a stack of wooden crates for a cabinet? If you’re still doing it, I send out my prayers that someday, any day, you’ll get stuck silly with taste and earn the few bucks you need to express it.
All I can do is show you what NOT to do. There are chairs and couches out there that curdle my milk. In fact, it’s so bad out there that the folks at Bo Concept ran a contest to unearth the worst examples of the genre. The saddest entry requirement–you have to own the furniture.
Baby, I Got the Blues (from my hair down to my shoes)
The winner of the Pretty Ugly Furniture competition is Angie Goh, who takes home $5,000 for submitting this snapshot of a sad state of affairs. Here are some gruesome examples to consider for next year’s contest:
Thick as a Brick
This monstrosity was created by the genius minds at Purpose Restoration, “a company that seeks to take old, ugly and horribly designed furniture and give it a rock and roll edge.” This must be the “before” picture.
Red Rum
I don’t claim to know everything, but I know deep down in my bones that this couch–posted as an example of negative curb appeal by Massachusetts Real Estate Voic–coughs up a mind-bending, sub-cushion assortment of coins, buttons, and dustballs. Here it is, posing in its natural environment, perhaps jettisoned by a family that had a sudden spiritual experience.
Hairball
This nasty thing is manufactured by Environment Furniture, a company partially owned by Leonardo DiCaprio. The chair should have gone down with the Titanic.
Woodrow’s Choice
You know the feeling you get from the 14-story drop on the Colossus roller coaster out here in California? It’s a shallow dip in the road compared to the stomach-plummeting swurge I get just looking at this abomination that makes its owners proud. Yurp!
3 Responses to “Ugliness Squared: Furniture that Reeks”
I have an attachment to old ugly furniture, and still have a puke brown colored chair, covered in velvet?, that has been with me since the college days. Of course it stays in the shop and not in the house, but I love it.
WOW is about all that comes to mind….as in WOW, I used to think this stuff was absolutely normal for me, and WOW, I can remember being in love with that last sofa, especially while tripping the light fantastic back in the early 70’s on whatever hallucinogen was ingested at the time, and WOW, they still make this stuff? Intentionally?
That hairball seat is a trip…It looks really comfortable but how in the world could you clean that thing…I imagine it would collect a whole bunch of stuff and it’d be impossible to clean. That brick seat looks about as comfortable as actually sitting on bricks.