Ugly Is the New Really Ugly

ugly

I’m delighted that there’s a company out there dedicated to “buying ugly”. I haven’t researched the business, but I hope they renovate, remodel, or repaint where necessary to restore some sanity to the neighborhoods where they find these living monuments to the decay of Western culture. Some of the homes I found in my search are new and simply ugly by design, while others were probably attractive at one point and have slid across the well-delineated line between acceptable and hideous.

What Have We Here?
siding

And that’s the point. I have no idea what we have here. This Canadian eyesore has been cobbled together with siding and now straddles less-than-artistic styles of shotgun architecture and neo-classic vomit. It looks like it has herpes. The folks at Urban Think say it best: “Shabby rebuilds and uninspired designs will eventually bring down property values. We understand the limitations of time and budget, but heartily believe that smart, quality construction can continue on time and on budget, with consideration and planning.” Amen.

Pink is the New Oink
pink

The people who buy houses and flip them will have their hands full with this Floridian monstrosity. I doubt they can turn it around simply by applying Better Homes and Gardens’ “20 Ways to Add Curb Appeal.”

Poppies Will Make Them Sleep
narco

A visitor to Afghanistan took hurried photos of the “Poppy Palaces” or “Narcotecture” of the rich opium drug lords’ castles. They’re heavily fortified, well protected by private militia, and look like a cross between corporate offices and Shogunate palaces. One drug lord is building a Kabul home that looks just like the White House in D.C.

Elsewhere, Under the Rainbow
rainbow

The good news is that the willow tree beside this home blocks the view from the neighbor to the left. The bad news is that you’re the neighbor in the house across the street.

5 Responses to “Ugly Is the New Really Ugly”

  1. WopLogic says:

    Loved the reference to Herpes for the what-the-heck-were-they-thinking home with all the siding. I’m sure you could create a website with all kinds of human-oriented illnesses which apply to home construction afflictions, and not just those associated with psychologically or visual-impairment maladies……..

  2. Bart says:

    I think there are several White House re-creations out there. Very appropriate that the drug lord in Afghanistan would build one, and some what ironic, as US tax dollars probably find their way into his pockets!

  3. Rod says:

    Pink house is cool, but not as cool as the rainbow house. Is that in San Francisco or do a bunch of leprechauns live there? Someone would have to pay me to live in that.

  4. jacqueline says:

    I’m inspired by the rainbow house! It’s awesome!

  5. [...] wrote about his house before on the blog, but it deserves a reprieve. I cherish the tall crop of grass edges and the delightful use of [...]

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